Sigh.
As a girl, I know how it feels like to be patted on the head by guys. Thats why im both angry and sad at the same time when i see you doing that to her. It’s like i’m being treated as transparent or like i don’t matter at all. Like seriously, whats that suppose to mean?? Why do you even have to pat on her head? Why can’t you just say hi? And doing it to me immediately aft just makes it even worse. It makes me feels like im no different from her. But i am not, or am i? I tried to hold it in. I tried to ignore. But i can’t. The tears, anger and heartache just made me feel like bursting. You dont just freaking do that to girls, in front of me or not. When can you start acting like an attached person to other girls. The last thing you ever make your gf feel, is jealousy. Because the heartache and anger i felt could eat me up alive. And the worst thing is, i had to act like i dont really care at all when all i want, is to really scream and cry. Because i love you thats why i care. Thats why i’ll be angry and all But if i let it all out, to you, i’ll just be an unreasonable gf. And seeing the effort that you put in recently, i really don’t want to let you know all these. I dont want to vent it on you. I dont want u to feel that all the effort you made had gone to waste because it didnt. I see all the effort you put in. I see the change in you. I appreciate all of that. Thats why i cant show everything to you. The agony.
